Crazy Dream #1

They told me I would have crazy dreams. Thanks, Ziggy.

I know these usually stink when you actually say them out loud/write them out, but since Rex the dog is the only one reading (and my mother), I’m going to go ahead.


I’m at some department/Old Navy-type store before it opens, picking out ties and scarves beforescene of the crime the rush. I snuck in with someone – I believe my husband, whose idea this was (he would never, in a million years CHOOSE to go shopping, much less break in somewhere to get the best deals). I hide the ties and scarves I want behind other things, then promptly forget where I’ve hidden them. This is despite the fact that I don’t wear ties and neither does my husband.

And then… I take a trip to the bathroom and this weird dream turns into a nightmare. Blood. Miscarriage. Sadness.

My husband still thinks there’s a chance I’m still growing a person inside of me (he WOULD do that), but I know it’s done.


I’m in line outside of the store as they get ready to open. Some dude I barely knew from high school opens the gate and the crowd races in like it’s free kale day in Brooklyn. These people REALLY want to get into the store. If only they’d broken the law like I did, they would have had access to all the sweetest ties and scarves.

I spend hours trying to find my sweet ties and scarves, then go to the bathroom again, just to re-check. Some sort of gooey orange liquid oozes toward me in the bathroom floor, so I’m forced to do this with my feet up. Not easy. And all is still badness/sadness.


Another jump and I’m at my old childhood home. The entire family is there. My dad is eyeing 20 calendar planner things that I have in random places around the house, and I tell him to take them. Yes, this would be something that could actually happen in real life.

I take my husband aside and ask him if it was all a dream. He shakes his head no. I tell the family “we lost the baby” and have no qualms about taking this phrase from every after-school special/tv movie I’ve ever seen. My mother-in-law says something optimistic about having more time to prepare, my mom tries to hide her tears.

And… scene.


Also: I’m really glad you’re still inside of me.


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