Pregnancy is Like… Being Drunk

A friend of mine once made the astute observation that toddlers were like drunk people. Apparently, so are pregnant women.

I got drunk last night.

I’ve heard about pregnancy brain, I’ve experienced pregnancy brain. This was not the same thing. I was pregnant drunk last night.

We were watching a movie, so it wasn’t all that clear what was actually happening until I spilled a glass of water. This isn’t out of the norm for me, I’m quite clutzy, but the glass went flying and the water went EVERYWHERE. It’s strange how a glass that looks like it needs a refill can cause such destruction. It was like the glass had created extra water just to put on more of a show.

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I had NO IDEA what to do. I sat there, holding the dripping odds and ends (okay, there was a lot of yarn involved – I’ve been crocheting… I KNOW), with a crazy stupid grin on my face. There was a lot of dripping, and I didn’t want to walk with dripping crap (yarn) into the kitchen, so I just sat there. Hus, the one of us who had been drinking, eventually came in with some towels and took care of it. My hero.

This was followed by uncontrollable laughing and extreme sleepiness that I tried to mitigate by closing one eye at a time. This does not work. Spilling, laughing, passing out… See? Drunk.

I guess this is why it’s not that hard to give up alcohol when you’re pregnant. You don’t need it. Your joints get looser, your balance is off, your brain is fried, and nothing sounds better than a greasy breakfast at 2 in the morning. We are intoxicated pretty much all of the time. So… cheers.

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