Pregnancy is Like… Old AgePosted: 06/03/2013
I’m used to being able to control what my body does. I think even burps and farts take some thought and effort, though for some (*cough* husband *cough*) they have become a natural part of social conversation.
As we get older, we have less control. Ladies get a great preview of what’s to come when they get pregnant. Incontinence, for instance. Memory loss. Frequent doctor’s visits. The inability to stand up from a seated position without assistance. Unsteadiness once you’ve achieved the standing.
These are all a part of my life now. I’m told farting will get way easier, too.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom and how I treat her. We have a great relationship and she will do ANYTHING for me. I try not to take advantage, but sometimes I do. My husband never ceases to point it out and make me feel bad on these occasions.
NO, MOM, I’M NOT ABOUT TO CALL YOU OLD.
As I’m gaining new insights into what old age is going to be like, I’m also forced (due to said husband) to look at the world from my mother’s perspective.
- Will I smile and laugh when my child continuously pulls my hair to make sure I’m not an alien? (Okay, maybe Ziggy won’t do this – I was an odd child.)
- How will I feel when he/she/it takes me up on the offer to wait around for the move-out cleaning people at a house with no furniture, no television, and no people? Will I offer in the first place?
- When will Ziggy make me cry? At some point, this kid is going to be a teenager. I wasn’t the worst teen in the world, but I will forever remember when I made my mom cry. We were doing a community theater production together, and I told her I didn’t want her hanging around me so much. I’m not looking forward to that moment with Zig, but I wonder if it will be as much of a stab-you-in-the-heart miserable experience as that day in the car with my mom was for me. She says she doesn’t remember it. I’m not sure I believe her.
Once the kid is born, my mom will have someone new to fawn over, someone who might like attention much more than I do (if Zig takes after his/her father). This will be a dream come true for my mom. (See also: my father, my mother-in-law)
I think if my mom has one fault it’s that she has too much love to go around. I know, barf, but if there’s a way to not be figurative about this, I haven’t found it (her heart isn’t especially big or anything). I just think she’s happiest when she’s loving someone, taking care of someone, helping someone. And I’m about to have a someone who will eat that up.
So, you’re welcome, mom. This one’s for you. (Seriously, she makes me feel like I’m buying her a house.)