Showing and Growing

I ate a whole bag of chips last night.

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To be fair, it wasn’t a full bag, but we’re not talking single-serving, either. There were, in fact, 8 servings. The marketers referred to the bag as “sharing size”. I’m not going to go into the calories, because it will depress me. They were reduced fat, but there’s a point where that stops meaning anything.

Okay (I rationalize), I WAS sharing that sharing size bag. With a fetus who has been gestating for 26 weeks today. My belly button is still an inny, but just. It really wants to pop out.

There’s no mistaking it now – I’m pregnant. This means a lot of people are now brave enough to ask me how far along I am. For months, I wanted people to ask this, to know I was past the pregnant-or-fat stage. Now, I just want to screw with them.

“What do you mean, how far along? How far along in what?”

I desperately want to say this to someone. Not to make them feel bad, just… okay. I probably won’t do it because it WILL make them feel bad. Who knew Ziggy could make me mean? See also: my recent tendency toward sobbing. Until this week, I hadn’t had many tears, but now, I’m crying at large hats and sleeping dogs.

I have also begun feeling a great sense of accomplishment for doing small things. Laundry, for example. I fixed a window with just a minor flesh wound and expected someone to knock on my door and give me a prize. Each time I run, I feel like I won a triathlon.

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In other news, today is my husband’s 40th birthday. He is currently in Florida. On the phone today, we discussed:

  • Whether we’re going to tell our child he/she is “special” and what special really means
  • The fact that I’m becoming more maternal (I don’t see it)
  • How we’re basically going to have about five full weeks at home to really prepare for this child
  • Whether the kid will be more important to either one of us than we are to each other
  • The possibility that a kid will make us cheat on each other

You know, just a fun, light-hearted convo to ring in his new year. We both know that the key is talking it out, the way it’s always been. And we’re good at that. We’re talkers. We’ll just see how easy talking is with a third voice screaming in the background…

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*sob*

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