Get Out of My Belly

39 weeks today and I am extremely ready for this baby to make its appearance. I know – I still have a week left, and there’s no guarantee that it’ll happen on the 18th (the average is over 41 weeks for first-timers), but THERE IS A HEAD INSIDE OF MY PELVIS!!!

A quote from Pregnant Chicken‘s weekly preggo update seems apropos:

It’s right around this time that there’s a slooow shift from you being perceived as a glowing woman that is creating life, into a fat husk that’s hoarding that adorable baby they all want to see.

I’m not really getting that from other people, I’m getting that from me. And my pelvis. My pelvis really wants to see this baby.

I’m not looking for a solution. I know, ultimately, as the Hypnobabies CD lady keeps reminding me, that “babies are born on their birth days, not when doctors decide.” (I can’t punch her in the face, because she only exists in headphones.)

But naturally, everyone has a way to jump-start the labor, so let’s go down the list:

  1. Walking – I’m still jogging three times a week, so I don’t think walking will do much
  2. Have sex – hard to do with a watermelon between you, but yes, that is happening
  3. Eat spicy food – already do that
  4. Castor oil – yikes
  5. Saffron – this comes from my sister-in-law, but it’s apparently also used for abortions in the early stages of pregnancy. Gets it out either way, but I think I’ll pass.
  6. Stop focusing on it and it will happen – Please. You try to stop focusing on the seven pounds of BS you’re carrying and we’ll talk

(Blame Ziggy for the bitchiness)

Since I’m not even at the due date yet, I should probably stop my whining. I’ve had such a crying-babysmooth pregnancy that I got completely spoiled. No glow, just normal living, for the most part. Now, I’m finally making some adjustments, mostly with my chocolate intake (much more) and my willingness to bend over (much less). Ziggy’s alien moves are still fascinating, though I’d love for them to be less focused on my bladder and ribs…  Most of all, this is getting boring. I know I’m arriving early to the party, but Ziggy is a terrible host.

Notice I said I should stop my whining…

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